What do I really like?

I don’t know what the true reason was exactly, made me make the decision and stop working in there. I tend to believe it was a string of situations which came along together, and I couldn’t handle anymore. Perhaps that was the way to made move.

I knew what I wanted to study when I was in 9th grade, but I do not know the reason. Perhaps some voices around me telling me what to do, and this is not a blame. I decided it because I believed at that time, it was the best as well!

I remember what my mom said, I don’t remember when that was, but I thought in that moment I could be real, if I study accounting later, with a lot of money in my hands I could study music, what was I thinking to study.

 Being a teacher, doesn’t sound very interesting, they just repeat and repeat, and handle thirty kids at the same time it not fun at all!

I ended up in a good university studying accounting in Colombia, where I spent five years of my life stressed out with headaches because I couldn’t understand what the international accounting standards says.

I remember one classmate making fun of me, because I always was struggling with myself to don’t fall asleep in class. I’m not sure if there was any class where I really was enjoying, and I still miss. Probably none.

I would say, some management classes and commercial, inventories and production classes were the ones I really was “excited” about. But there was an optional subject everyone at the university could take, but the only one in my career who took it, was me. And I did it for about three semesters, it was History of Piano.

Yes Piano! I never played piano in that class, but the teacher, explained and played the most beautiful piano pieces, with a stunning passion. Back at that time, I dreamt being like him, very smart and passionate. I loved that teacher. He was elderly teacher, very sensitive person, and he had lived in Germany for thirty years. When he used to call me in class, I loved the accent he used. Amazing teacher, always wearing an umbrella with the music notes on it, as well as his coffee cup. Very relieved person.

Just couple of month ago, when I started knowing myself, I was listening to many audiobooks and different challenges I have done. In all of them, they mentioned a simple but hard question: ‘what would You love to do if I you already had all the money and time, and You were pretty sure You would be successful on that?’

 I began to check inside me and remember I had told my mom I wanted to study music, or Modern languages, but she had replied to me that those careers will not give me money. I guess all those words were inside of my mind, and that is why I kept going with accounting career. But I must say, while I was working as an auditor, in one of the biggest companies in my country, secretaries who spoke English and even another language, they were earning almost same amount of a manager in my company.

Just to be clear, at this point I think that, if you are enjoying what you do, even if is accounting, or being a secretary or, anything, you are in the right pathway.

Today perhaps with a little bit or regret, because I still feel old to start again, because my priorities have changed and because I am feeling lost. But I am understanding as well, there are plenty of time to do what I love to do, and just need to step in.

I do not know still, if I am good enough for music, I just took some lesson when I was eleven years old, and I stopped because I got bored, or I did not have the motivation, I haven’t discovered yet why I stopped.  

However, where I am learning now, it is that I love languages, and it became interesting for me, talk to another people from different cultures, learn their language, and traditions. I love teaching my language and find similitudes between both.

 Sometimes I just need to fight with my brain and let it know, I want to live my life, and enjoy it as much as I can, I need to stop doing what I don’t want to just because of the money or because that other career makes me look better or smarter.

Everyone has a purpose in this life, that purpose is what you love doing the most. Just discover it!