16th Dec24 - FullMoon Season - From Day to Night

Part 1 - Draft 17th Dec 2024

Today, my more sensitive time of year, and I feeling like writing my thoughts. Well, I guess it is because I would like just to share them again… I am a highly sensitive person during the whole year anyway.

I have been having two beautiful weeks, and just came back to see the moonrise. I would say that, my personality, my moon and the time of the year, just make me feel so fantastically happy today, even if it has been a long year, I’ve felt like 2 or 3 years in one, I still feel grateful for the experiences lived.

Probably later you will understand what I  just writing in this lines, or maybe not haha, but the sun, driving, the music and I may say even cooking, have become in the moment to listen carefully.

So today, I have looked back, and I have heard the list of all my journals about my journey during this whole year. Hehe

This year hasn’t been easy for me, so neither for many others I know, but all these difficult challenges we experience are for an specific reason, and I am so sure about it, cause I have experienced many other challenges I have overcome and the magic has happened after…

Part 2 - Draft 18th Dec 2024

My thoughts and feelings went too far, many times. Navigating in the sea, my mind was caught in a riptide of thoughts and storm of emotions.  Because of my inability to put them all together in written words; it was necessary that my voice was heard, in where my soul can sometimes feel the warmth heart. Long hours in the phone, let myself explore the emotions, with her, with me, with my body, so I was able to finalise my writings, in the book of my mind.

I was caught again in the busyness trying to survive to my daily battles my mind was creating, I believe! My bubble had gotten broken in some point, somehow, and I felt the darkness again. I had to let go beautiful things, I had to let go horrible too, some of them were just scaping from the hole I created, and it hurt, hurt so much, when I finally understood my inhallibility to express my love to the ones I love, and when I finally understood the comfortability my body feels with those ones I didn’t want. 

 But the growth and experiences have been so good and some other have felt painful in the moment, but today when I look back, it even looks like a joke, I can laugh, but also, I’m able to see the reasons why.

As always meeting people and listening to their stories and see how mine ones connected somehow with theirs, make me feel understood, in the right place, but I feel I can understand them too.

I just need to be patience, and that would be the biggest lesson for every single area of my life. been patience with me, trying to learn, making the same mistakes repeatedly. Patience with my personality and the way I I react when everything turns grey.

Part 3 - Final- 20th Dec 2024

I have been having amazing weeks, sunny days, pure water, beautiful weather, wonderful people around me, good vibes making my energy rise high.

I have been navigating in between the day and night, excitement and nostalgic. My sensitivity is on the top, so I can easily flight to the moon or sink myself in the deepest water, maybe it is because of this time at the year, when I start to realise that is close to the end, and I start to look back….  Or well, maybe this just my personality anyways through the year, or I must say life. anyway, just undersetting myself.

The point it’s these last days, I have been feeling like sharing again my thoughts, as I have not been doing much these years, ( I meant to say months) although I haven’t had either the time or the ability to put together the ocean of emotions that my thoughts have been creating during this second half of the year, which feels like and another whole year.

Today I feel happy, usually my mornings bring me happiness, enjoyment, after being able to have the time to do what I do enjoy the most and being able to put apart the guiltiness thoughts about not being responsible enough to do what I needs to be done. I have survived the entire year like this, and nothing has happened.

Although as I have said, this year have been a little bit hard, and challenging for me, so has it for many others, I feel today fantastic for all those experiences, it felt so harsh deep down, but today it even makes me laugh.

I caught myself many times, trapped following the rules, the ways that other have over this world, their world. I caught myself stuck trying to make my life works out in the same way someone’s else’s think it works out, when I already know, my bubble is unique, I create my own world there, and it feels amazing to me, for my soul.

This year continued teaching me the lessons of letting go, let go of being on control of the outcome of my life, the timing, the space and the perfection no one never will reach, letting go of the expectations and just surrender, accept and enjoy what I have: My Self. Why that, is so easy to forget?

Life has always taken me out of those places, and moments where I do not belong anymore, and has showed me every day, every time, much more better experiences, faces, places, feelings, and emotions that I enjoy more. I just need to take the plunge into something new, with no thinking, and it is there, when the magic has happened.

I had been looking for that magic, blessings and miracles, but I keep comprehending, that all of that is translated as Love. So, I started to look for love, I had not realised that love was translated in nature, places, and even children, until this year I noticed I have been always surrounded by love; I have all my life.

I have realised that I don’t need to find more love, because blessings, miracles, magic and Love is always within me, I just need to give it back, to those places, faces and experiences, with no questions, with no expectations, and taking out off my mind the veil of fear  of making mistakes, and just be free to keep being myself.

And this is how I have been able to finally be finished my writing. No caring about the time, the routine, the responsibilities (well I do not have much today), but when I just decided to hear my soul and I get lost in it, the spirit speaks louder, or perhaps, it is me able to listen to it. 